this police interview video demonstrates my infectious enthusiasm and inspiring oration skills.

no, it’s actually very dull, but here it is anyway.

in it i read the spiel that i had prepared for the police interview which is also posted in text form.

my good lawyer informed me that the better i can explain myself in interview the better for the case, as a transcript of the interview is handed up to the magistrate/judge with the rest of the paper.

i really didn’t want to do this, after so many interviews and failed attempts to make myself understood by the constabulary, i just can’t be fucked anymore, so the dour reading of a prepared statement was the best i could do.*

i was a little hungover too……

the police seized a copy of the spiel as evidence anyway, mistakenly thinking it would damage my chances of getting bail, so i guess i could have just saved everyone the pain and kept my mouth shut, oh well.

*being unable to muster the energy for what will probably be another failed attempt to explain myself is actually one reason for this site when i think about it – if anyone claims to want to know what i’m on about, i could direct them here, and regardless of the outcome, at least i’ll save myself from the normal result of trying to explain myself to someone in person: another punishing round of amazing alternative suggestions for how i should feel and act in my life which i had never previously considered.

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