had a case go before the melbourne magistrates’ court today, one charge of posting bills covering over 100 ‘incidents’ between 03/10/2012 and 31/03/13.

here are my submissions: richards v magee magistrates submissions 22-04-14

i don’t know the name of the magistrate presiding, as she, like all magistrates, didn’t introduce herself (how rude), but she is going to deliver her decision at 9:30am thursday the 24th of april — all welcome to attend of course.

a woman from adshel gave evidence as to the claimed $43,093.60 of ‘cleaning and labour costs’ (surely the labour and cleaning are the same thing in this circumstance, he wrote textually by way of written explanation) — the figure is grossly inflated, and supported by ‘documents’ claiming to be receipts from the cleaning company, which were actually just fabricated documents with an adshel letterhead.

i couldn’t question the adshel woman about the claim of $341 per panel as she claimed to not know anything about the cleaning process — she said there was a cost of $150 for ‘materials’ for cleaning each individual panel, even though the panels are cleaned with a water pressure hose, maybe they used an upmarket bottled spring water in their pressure hoses.

anyway, the figure of $341 per single postered panel is in stark contrast to the $40.17 previously quoted by adshel to clean paint from two panels outside the courts in the case of magee v delaney — i guess the woman won’t be charged for perjury for swearing a false statement, i mean how could she sign a false statement when she doesn’t know anything about anything.

the police informant, constable lauren richards, did not take the stand.

i gave evidence, telling my life story basically, as is my new standard practice, and stating my beliefs and reasons for choosing this expression — the police prosecutors responded by whispering that i was a communist as if it was the mccarthy era (i guess i did, while talking about ‘real democracy’, use the term capitalism, as if that exists or is in any way problematic) — then i stepped down from the witness box, put on my lawyer hat, and gave a brief run-down to the magistrate of my legal argument, making reference to relevant precedents & sections of provisions and laying out lots of papers like a consummate legal idiot.

the magistrate was decent, i.e. not rude or incapable of listening, but i could see her rolling her eyes as i made the most legitimate legal points ever made by a self-reppin’ man in cut-off jeans, shiny knee-high socks and an 80’s mum cardigan — what i’m saying is that i looked stunning — and also that i am sure to lose again.

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